The first commandment (chronologically)

I am aware that a few of my theological positions are considered by many of my evangelical readers to be “liberal” (e.g. my beliefs on origins and biblical inerrancy). But this post will (unfortunately and unintentionally) be likely to cause controversy due to its blatant conservatism. More conservative, it turns out, than most modern evangelicals.

Anyone know right offhand the first directive God is recorded to have issued mankind? Hint: it’s not about which tree to eat from. This one reveals one of God’s chief purposes for the race He created as the crowning constituent of His world:

“Have lots of babies. Raise them to take their place in the administration of My Kingdom.”

This is obviously my own colloquialization of Genesis 1.28, but I’m sure you have guessed the wording of the original command: “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

It has been said that this was “a blessing, not a command,” and indeed, the words quoted above were introduced as a blessing: “Then God blessed them and said…” Now I want you to try to imagine how being blessed is not also an act of commission: how like God would it be to make provision for something He doesn’t care one way or another about? I can’t think of anything in Scripture that sounds anything remotely like, “You know, you may never wish to take advantage of this blessing, but I just want you to know that if you ever want to [blank], I’ve got you covered.” God’s blessings express His heart; far from offering an option subject to be disregarded at our whim, His blessings communicate His plan and His commitment to seeing that plan through to fulfillment.

Even in recent times, right up until and even after industrialization, the pattern God ordained was still maintained on a broad scale. Parents wanted to have children to help out in or around the home or contribute income from other employment as soon as they came of age; children were expected to help provide for their parents and siblings as time progressed. Family was a primary focus of everyone’s life; those for whom this was not the case were looked on as flighty, uncommitted, and frivolous.

But things changed: it was as though humanity decided that its commission to subdue the earth was complete, and so reproduction was optional at best and too downright inconvenient at worst. Too often these days in which self-centeredness is the rule, Americans who start having children early (and by early I mean before their late twenties) are assumed to be either 1) clumsy in their birth control efforts or 2) quaint and old-fashioned. Usually in that order.*

Actually, that first assumption is somewhat justifiable: since the advent of birth control, people have been able to enjoy sex with abandon simply for mutual or self-gratification. Christians with this mindset thank God for the gift of birth control. Birth control may in fact be a gift of God, but one arguably more beneficial to the Kingdom when unbelievers avail themselves of it. Consider the following points.

It’s my belief that Christians have a biblically mandated obligation to fill the earth with godly offspring; this is a strategy meant to advance the Kingdom by out-populating the ungodly. Muslims and Mormons understand this logic. Ask yourself which religions are the chief rivals of Christianity in size and speed of growth. If you answered yourself “Muslims and Mormons”, move to the head of the class. Among devout Christians, Muslims, and Mormons, Christians are easily the least likely to encourage large families. This despite “focusing” on the family; we tend to try to make good families, but make them small to compensate for all the effort. But much like abortion, reinforcing Christians’ desire to maintain small families or childless marriages results in an undervaluation of children and the centrality of family to our lives.

The main point I want to drive home is that I believe all Christians should have as a principal goal to do whatever it takes to put themselves in the position to create and cultivate a family. As it is, parents (implicitly at least) teach their kids that after leaving the home, they should embark on their careers and then, when they’re done pursuing their self-chosen dreams, maybe have some children. Now of couse, I’m definitely not recommending the jobless to start churning out kids. But I’m saying that not being able to afford the largest house, the finest toys, or Carter’s babywear should in no way be considered good cause to waste your life on career-building. If I had to sacrifice having a career I loved so that I could raise a healthy, loving, godly family, I would do so. The poor have always seemed to know that what brings the most value and meaning in life is family; the wealthy of today’s America, who can most afford having children and spending time with them, tend to have their eyes set on more temporal things and thus typically have smaller families. This is sad, chiefly because it plagues American Christendom no less than the world at large.

There are a number of other problems with putting off children until some future by-and-by, including the fact that children born to parents past the prime of life (late teens to about mid-twenties) are likelier to have or cause health issues. Something else that Christians should consider is that these children do not have a chance to know their grandparents as long as they otherwise would. Since the increase in longevity brought on by medical revolutions in the past century or so, more children lived to see and remember even their great-grandparents than was previously possible, although it must be noted that longer life is often tempered by protracted health issues such as senility; the wonderful gain in life expectancy has lately been offset by procrastinated parenting. The wisdom of the aged, marginalized already by the fracturization of the family unit and peer centrism, is made scarcer still by allowing the elderly to die off without having experienced the reward of enjoying their children’s children, the most precious and lasting fruit of their life’s labors.

Many Christians object that they’re waiting for the “right time” to have kids. They expect that at some future time,

• life circumstances such as finances will allow them to have children
• their marriage will mature sufficiently (somehow managing to do this without one of the features necessary to truly complete and fulfill marriage)
• they’ll feel “ready”

The first two initially sound reasonable and are often looked on by other Christians as wise choices. When they really think about it, however, most Christian parents will probably tell you that it’s no use waiting on these expectations, because both are almost never fulfilled to expected satisfaction. Moreover, far too many** giving the reasons listed above are unconsciously using them as code for decidedly different ideals: they figure that at some (perpetually?) future time, they’ll suddenly find it easy to give up the money they’ve gotten used to spending on anything they wanted, including the repayment of debts that are customarily accrued for the satisfaction of their more frivolous desires. Until then, they’ll be able to live the life of the care-free dating couple (with divinely approved “benefits” thrown in as a bonus).

The upshot for these types is that, short of a heavenly audible voice or lapse into clumsiness in birth control efforts, they’ll never have to worry about doing anything besides waiting for that ever elusive and probably completely fictitious “readiness”.

Another major obstacle for Christians and family-building is that so many of us just aren’t crazy about children. But what do we expect? After all, our culture tells us that children are usually accidents to be avoided. Kids are born naturally oblivious to our grown-up standards of good sense and propriety: the ugly fact is that children are almost without exception born loud, unruly, inconsiderate, messy, and self-centered. Before having children, I thought babies were cute, and I did feel that having a family was important, but I was simply not comfortable around children; I never felt like I related well with them, especially once they got past two years old or so. I didn’t realize how obviously awkward I was until recently when, upon observing one of my frequent happy father moments that left me beaming, my mother remarked, “You never thought you’d be so crazy about children, did you? I didn’t think you would be either.” When she said that, I realized that I am now a completely different person: although still not a natural child-lover like some of our friends, still not someone who desires to be tied down to inconvenient bedtimes and even more inconvenient early risings, definitely not the type who relishes sitting through unappetizingly messy dinnertimes which require disgusting cleanup afterwards, I am fundamentally, absolutely happy with the gift of fatherhood. Nor is my endurance of the above incommodities attributable to the patience of Job; rather, God has blessed my obedience with a love for my children that soars so far above those things that, from here, they are hardly visible.

I am convinced that my transformation was not the result of some rare dispensation of divine mercy: God always attends His directives with more than sufficient grace for carrying them out. I have been married nine years and have had children for all but three of those. I am as honest as I’ll ever be when I tell you that I wouldn’t give up these last six years for fifty of the “married without children” lifestyle any more than I would give up the first three years with just Renee. I feel immense satisfaction, a fulfillment too great to simply be the result of following some personal plan God has for me. It’s bigger than that: I’ve taken my place in the grand scheme that our sovereign Creator intended for mankind all along. I have trod in the footsteps of my fathers, and of my fathers’ fathers.

Preterism has taught me that God has restored His original plan for us; my pastor has proclaimed over and over again that fatherhood is a seminal part of the Kingdom’s pattern, an institution essential for its very functionality. We cannot fully comply with our Gen. 1.28 charge to subdue the earth without also filling the earth. How long will it be before the Church allows these revelations to be birthed within us and evidenced without?

“With that logic, where do you suggest that we stop? How many children should we have?” “If child-rearing is so wonderful, why should we have any constraints on it at all — ten, fifteen kids?” If you were thinking thoughts like these, then my point has probably not been conveyed properly. My intent is not to subject anyone to a set of rules — “do this, and do it this way” — but to identify a faulty mindset that has adversely affected our current situation, both in the Church at large and on a personal basis. I’m not saying that there aren’t forms of and motivations for birth control that are right for Christians: I know there are Christians undergoing true financial difficulty for whom another mouth to feed sounds about as reasonable as a moratorium on oxygen. The recognition of the immaturity of a spouse as something to overcome before having children is another wise consideration. Please understand what I am saying: all Christians should have as a principal goal to do whatever it takes to put themselves in the position to create and cultivate a family. This is a privileged contribution to the Kingdom of God not to be shirked lightly, directly opposed to the prevailing mindset that encourages doing whatever it takes to get out of family-building for as long as possible.

Jonah, rather than immediately high-tailing it the other way, could have responded to God’s call much like some modern Christians: “Sure I’ll go to Nineveh! It’s a wonderful plan You have, Lord. I plan on going there one day. Maybe even soon! Right now I’m trying to tie up some loose ends around here, and then one day I’ll be ready to obey You. I mean, right now I’m pretty happy where I am, working on my walk and relationship with You. All that time in Assyria – my house will be a wreck! And how will I even find a chance for private time with You? You’ve gotta admit, Lord, that those Ninevites are a real hassle to keep up with!”

Lord knows I didn’t mean to heap condemnation on anyone’s head for not having children yet or for putting it off for good reasons; I know people who have put it off for good reasons, so I know they exist! And I certainly want to apologize to those Christians who pray for but have not yet received a mate: God’s got you in His hands, just where He wants you for now. (Anyone who wants children but is sadly struggling with infertility, perhaps consider my first footnote below.) But I don’t think it’s untoward for me to encourage the childless-by-choice Christians to understand that nothing they do in their lifetimes will be as important or fulfilling as having and raising children. Think about it; pray about it; argue with it. Just don’t ignore it.

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* By no means do I mean to leave out the possibility of adoption, which is essentially the reclamation of God’s blessing of new life and a picture of redemption befitting those representing Christ to the world.

** Please notice that I said “far too many” were using the above as excuses rather than as valid reasons; far too many, but not all.

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